Wednesday, June 20, 2007

1st Purple Verse 12 and kidnapping

Thanks for Tom's link to the Church Sign generator. It reminds me about my favorite web generator goodness, The ransom not generator for the busy kidnapper.

For example I was just typing one out this morning:





I want one.....

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Monday, June 18, 2007

Weird Weather

I have posted the pictures I took at the Ithaca Festival Parade. You can view them all here: . This one is right when the weather started turn.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Rust Bucket

This car was put in a nuclear bomb proof shelter 50 years ago in Tuls Oklahoma (Tom this one is for you). As it turns out the bunker was not water proof so the car turned into a literal rust bucket. Im not no fancy rocket type scientist but I think if water could get in, the shelter may not have been Nuclear Bomb proof. For the whole story click here.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Test Road

I have spent a lot of my career around database applications and have create a lot of fake data for testing. If I have to test out a web sign up form then I will add some fake names and addresses and the like. Since Im not the most inspired person sometimes that may look something like:

Test Dude
132 Test Road
Test City, CA 90210

So here is the the twist, everyday I drive 30 miles to work and at about the midway point I pass Test Road. I swear the name of the road is Test Road.

So now Im wondering, "am I just a part of some large test database just awaiting the say I get put into production." What is the production database like? It would have to cleaner right? Stricter rules for entry, no orphans, stable environment, and I could go on and on.

Im just a test row dreaming of the day I get inserted into the production path....

Somedays I know how this guy feels....

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

How to speak office jargon

Let's think out of the box: Really means, "Can you creatively anemic people please come up with something?" The person who says, "Let's think out of the box" is usually desperate for a new idea and surrounded by people who are not known for generating ideas. So the phrase is actually an announcement that says, "I'm in trouble."

I need someone who can hit the ground running: Really means, "I am screwed." Because no one can hit the ground running. You need to at least assess what race you're in and who else is running.

Do you have the bandwidth? Note that bandwidth is not time. It is something else. If you ask someone "Do you have time?" you mean, "Am I a priority?" If you ask someone "Do you have bandwidth" you mean, "You seem like your brain is fried. Can you pull yourself together to do this for me?"

Let's hit a home run: "I'm desperate to look good. Even though the odds of a home run are slim, I'm banking on one because it's the only thing that'll save me." Something for all your sports fans to remember: If you have a bunch of solid hitters you don't need a bunch of home runs.

You and I are not on the same page: "Get on my page. Your page is misguided." No one ever says, "We're not on the same page, so let me work really hard to understand your point of view. If you want to understand someone else, you say, "Can you tell me more about how you're thinking."

I'm calling to touch base: "I want something from you but I can't say it up front." Or "I am worried that you are lost and I'm sniffing around for signs to confirm my hunch." Or "I'm calling because you micromanage me."

Let's run the numbers and see how they look: "I know they look bad on first blush. But the true use of Excel is to keep changing the formulas until you find a format that makes the numbers look good."

My plate is full: "Help I'm drowning," or "I would kill myself before I'd work on your project."

Let's close the loop: "Let me make sure I'm not going to get into trouble for this one."

Let's touch base next week: "I don't want to talk to you now," or "You are on a short leash and you need to report back to me."

Keep this on your radar: "This will come back to bite you. or me."